withdrawal

a visceral, almost unusual pulsation
but not quite
something like it, maybe
no-
familiarity of the self
breeding contempt
(getting there)
a rejection of my darkest
corners.
(maybe)
jaw-locked
tightly gripped
and crooked lips
repressing a smile
(a kiss)
kicking away at the weight of
the world
(love)
is not for the faint of heart or
spirit, and I give more than
I am ready to take.
(lack thereof)
is familiar familiar familiar
leave me with a black eye and a
chipped tooth for safe keeping
some mementos of my self-inflicted
martyrdom.

because I did not feel I was ready
to touch the ocean floor
just as you weren’t prepared
to tread fickle waters.

The Edge of Longevity

I.                
I can no longer have the last laugh
for it reminds me of the silent pauses in between
and what I must return to in the darkest depths
of your absence.  

II.
I saw you at the grocery store the other day
and my butterfly wings took flight as they often do
in times of danger and discomfort.
A memory repressed returns twofold
and I had buried us a thousand times.

III.
The truth is sour enough
to be demand extraction from our tongues:
We are not who we thought ourselves to be.
You held a mirror to my love and I to your essence.
Repulsed, we confused the object in our hands
with the figures gripping the edges.  

IV.
I let you go gently,
our memories pulsing quietly through my heart
as I silently send you the last of my hopeless love.
Our whispered song finally fades into oblivion
and I am met with a forbidding stranger
who can no longer recognize the melody.